The Machine Gun Song

If I could be anything

I'd be a machine gun

'Cuz everytime I see you

I'm sorry I don't own one

If I could be anything

You know I'd be a land mine

The next time you step on me

Will really be the last time

If I could be anything

I'd be an airborne ranger

I'd jump into your ship

When you treat me like a stranger

If I could be anything

I'd be a German U-boat

Sink you like a stone

'Cuz the new guy

Makes your soul float

Hold my hand

Like a knife in my back

My nose is bleeding

And my eyes are both black

Got lots of friends

I don't need anymore

I'm Steve McQueen

And you're Gestapo torture

If I could be anything

I'd be a machine gun

'Cuz everytime I see you

I'm sorry I don'; t own one

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! I feel better now