The Houseplant Song

Once I read a book

And this is what it said

If your music has a beat

Then you're gonna wind up dead

It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not

If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot

And this book was called "Ha! Your Gonna Burn"

And in the second chapter I went on to learn

R: Take two houseplants

And put them to the test

Set them both in front of speakers

And let the music do the rest

The first one you play Mozart

Or something lovely like that

The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is.

So I took my two houseplants

And I put them to the test

Set them both in front of speakers

To let the music do the rest

I powered up my Pioneers

To let the music roar

But twenty minutes later

Someone's knocking at my door

I opened up my door

And there my neighbour stood

He said, "Man I'd like to get some sleep

If you think I could"

I said, "Man, can't you see here

I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clear."

He said, " What kind of moral dilemma

Could you have at this time of night

That could make me so angry

That I just want to fight!?"

So I pointed to the page in that open book

That had a picture of a potted plant

And I said, "Go have a look."

And he read

R:

First of all he said,

"That's Wagner that you're playing

I've never heard of Petra

And isn't MegaDeth all dead."

And secondly, emphatically, He asked me,

"What's the sense of hanging out with houseplants when, hey,

I live right across the fence."

And I thought to myself

You know, that's a good point

So I took my two houseplants, and

I put them both back outside

And me and my neighbour

Well, we went out for a drive

We talked about all the things

That really matter most

Like life and love and happiness

And then the Holy Ghost

And now my two houseplants

They sit out in the sun

As for me and my neighbour

Well our friendship has become

A meaningful relationship

That's headed straight to heaven

But as for now

We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline

Cranked to eleven!