Big Day in a Small Town

Mama got a call from the Principal's office,

"Better get down here fast

'Cause Mandy passed out when her water broke in the middle of geometry class."

Her mama didn't know she was nine months late

Been gettin' on her 'bout gainin' weight

And now she's a grandma

Somebody had a baby

Somebody had a breakdown

Oh, it's a big day

In a small town

Willy Smith swore he wouldn't miss one more of Junior's football games

Got his twelve-pack o' Bud and his Friday night buzz

Headin' south in the northbound lane

Junior's in the endzone, halfback pitch

Willy's sittin' upside-down in a ditch

And the crowd goes wild

Somebody wrecked a pick-up

Somebody scored a touchdown

Oh, it's a big day

In a small town

There ain't no mall, no waffle house

But there's always somethin' to talk about

Around here somebody shot a deer

Somebody's gettin' married, buried, or carried away

The sun comes up

And the sun goes down

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town

Rumour goin' 'round about a Methodist man

And a jail bait checkout queen

His wife caught wind of unspeakable sin

Goin' down on Aisle 13

She left all the chicken in the fryin' pan

Threw all the kids in the grand caravan

With a baseball bat

Somebody went to Wal-Mart

In nothin' but a night-gown

Oh, it's a big day

In a small town

There ain't no mall, no waffle house

But there's always somethin' to talk about

Around here somebody shot a deer

Somebody's gettin' married, buried, or carried away

The sun comes up

And the sun goes down

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town