Did I Shave My Back For This

A mason jar full of shine

A CD of Leann Rhimes

Is what I bought for our anniversary tonight

Now here I stand with my petunias in hand

And you've got a headache again

I hit a yard sale cut my toenails

Trimmed my nose hairs just right

I thought you'd be impressed

By my new hunting vest

But there's no chance tonight

It ain't the first time this year

It'll be the TV and beer

I about forgot what's it's like to be here

As I sleep on the floor

While she sniffles and snores

Did I shave my back for this

Oh man Aww woo

This things duller than a dag burn butter knife

Now I'll bet she'll regret

That she didn't let

Me take her to that motel with a pool

You know it's so hard to find

Free HBO and Showtime

And them vibrating beds sure are cool

I souped up my RV

Fired up my Flobee

Trimmed my toupee just right

I tried self tanning cream it turned my skin green

Uh you know the directions uh said that it might

Well it's a mystery to me

Why she don't like Cledus T.

Most find me hard to resist

I'm wearing my brand new drawers

And wondering what the heck for

Did I shave my back for this

DEE-ANNA

Did I shave my back for this

Ohh ohh ohh

(Coughs)