One Jack Off

Every Friday night I go to bubba's hardware store

and give the secret knock on the private stockroom door

good ol' boys are shootin craps playin' five card stud

hot lookin' women

ice cold suds

this blonde was playin' poker

she was on a roll

I sat down beside her with my ace in the hole

I had to draw a jack to win

with a stright ace high

but win I drew that card

I kissed that pot goodbye

cause Im one jack off

here in my hand

I got an ace, a king, a queen, and a ten and

now Im in a jam

I was doin' fine till I pulled that nine

thats win I went soft

I was temptin fate with an ace high stright

but Im one jack off

Ive played with this deck so long its messin' with my mind

Ive heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind

I can't let her beat me but I aint got a prayer

Im sure shes got a real good hand

I see shes got a pair

I stared accross the table

hopin' that she calls

then when she raised me

well I dang near lost it all

I tried to pull it out figurin' Id bluff

but when I showed her what I had

she said to bad your one jack off

Im just one jack off

aint that great

she said nice try but nine, ten, queen, king, ace dont make a stright

I said how about another round

she said anie up there hoss

she took all my money

and Im still one jack off

Im one jack off

just my luck

she won my favorite pair of cowboy boots

and the pink slip to my truck

I knew Id have to come again next week

to get back what I lost

thats the story of my life

its seems Im always one jack off

thats right

one jack off