Retrospect for Life

Yo, we gotta start respectin life more y'all

You look at your brother man you gotta see yourself

Gotta see the God within him

Brothers gettin changed real quick over nothin

We losin too many of ours

Gotta recreate y'all

Yo, check it

Knowin you the best part of life, do I have the right to take yours

Cause I created you, irresponsibly

Subconciously knowin the act I was a part of

The start of somethin, I'm not ready to bring into the world

Had myself believin I was sterile

I look into mother's stomach, wonder if you are a boy or a girl

Turnin this woman's womb into a tomb

But she and I agree, a seed we don't need

You would've been much more than a mouth to feed

But someone, I woulda fed this information I read

to someone, my life for you I woulda had to leave

Instead I lead you to death

I'm sorry for takin your first breath, first step, and first cry

But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially

Havin a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me

Plus I wanted you to be raised within a family

I don't wanna, go through the drama of havin a baby's momma

Weekend visits and buyin J's ain't gon' make me a father

For a while bearing a child is somethin I never wanted to do

For me to live forever I can only do that through you

Nerve I got to talk about them niggaz with a gun

Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son

I could have sacrificed goin out

To think my homies who did it I used to joke about, from now on

I'ma use self control instead of birth control

Cause $315 ain't worth your soul

$315 ain't worth your soul

$315 ain't worth it

I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer

You said you would be here when it rained

Yo

Why didn't you stay

Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself

You had our child in you, I probably never feel what you felt

But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are

Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination

An intergration of thoughts I feel about the situation

Back and forth my feelings was pacin

Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it

But even that's a lie in less than two weeks, we was back at it

Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust

Bustin, more than the sweat in somebody you trust

Or is it that we don't trust each other enough

And believe, havin this child'll make us have to stay together

Girl I want you in my life cause you have made it better

Thinkin we all in love cause we can spend a day together

We talkin spendin the rest of our lives

It's too many black women that can say they mothers

but can't say that they wives

I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding

But I want our Parenthood to come from Planning

It's so much in my life that's undone

We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one

If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from

But I'm walkin, findin myself in my God

So I can, discipline my son with my writin

Not have a judge tellin me how and when to raise my seed

Though his death was at our greed, with no one else to blame

I had a book of Afrikan names, case our minds changed

You say your period hasn't came, and lately I've been sleepy

So quit smokin the weed and the beadies and let's have this boy

I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer

You said you would be here when it rained

You said you would be here when it rained

Ohh I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer

Now the situation's made things change

Things change

Why, didn't you stay

Why didn't you stay...

I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer

In summer

You said you would be here when, it rained

When it rained, it rained

Ohhhohh I, never dreamed, you'd leave in summer

You said you wouldn't leave

Now the situation's made things change

Things change, why didn't you stay?

Stay, stay stay stay stay stay stay

Mmmmm, stayyy

Uh-uh

Ohh why didn't you stay..