800 Human

Are you sick of not existing?

Does your halo just not flatter your face?

Feel brand new in just three easy payments

Try it free

What it’s like to be

But wait there’s more!

The sky is not the limit

The body you have always wanted

Let us put you in it

Bad karma? No karma? You too can get a life

And it’s all for the low, low price of

What it’s like to be human

What it’s like to be alive

No returns and no exchanges

And of course at first you won’t know what your fucking name is

Void where prohibited or if your lover leaves

Putrefaction guaranteed

Just call the number on your screen, (800)

On earth as it is in heaven

Condemned to be free

And yes, even angels fall for legalese

So lead us not into late night TV

But deliver us, no CODs,

’Cause all anybody knows

Is how the jingle goes