If Walls Could Talk

If walls could talk then I'm sure you'd hear

A whole lot of things that would make you cry, my dear

So ain't you glad, ooh, ain't you glad

That walls don't talk

No they never talk

If doors could tell who turned the knobs

When he's away, working on his job

Now ain't you glad, oh, you ought to be glad

That doors don't talk

No, they don't

You know, if cars could say just who's been inside

And exactly whom has been taken for a ride

Now ain't you glad, I know you ought to be glad

That cars don't talk

Oh no, they don't talk

If shoes could tell, tell where they've been

When you claim that you were visiting a friend

Now ain't you glad, oh ain't you glad

That shoes don't talk

No, they just walk

Well, in a world of trouble we'd be if things ever told on me

My love life would be through 'cos I'm guilty, how about you?

If things ever talked that way

Ain't no telling what they might say

So ain't you glad, everybody ought to be glad

That things don't talk

I tell you, they don't talk about you

Oh I'm so glad

I'm so very glad

That things don't talk

...?