Romance Is Boring

Darling, I'm with St. Bernards

And we are scouring the Alps and the Andes

And if they die, then it is on my head

They followed paw prints in the snow to my throne, to my bed

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning

We're proving to each other that romance is boring

Sure, there are things I could do if I was half prepared to

Prove to each other that romance is boring

Start as you mean to continue

Complacent and self-involved

You're trying not to be nervous

If you are trying at all

I will wait, I will bake phallic cake

Take your diffidence, make it my club house

But my strengths within lies, ventricle cauterized

It's the way of living that I espouse

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning

We're proving to each other that romance is boring

Sure, there are things I could do if I was half prepared to

Prove to each other that romance is boring

We are two ships that pass in the night

You and I, we are nothing alike

I am a pleasure cruise, you are gone out to trawl

Return nets empty, nothing at all

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning

We're proving to each other that romance is boring

Sure, there are things I could do if I was half prepared to

Prove to each other that romance is boring