Old Alarm Clock

When first I came to London

In the year of thirty nine

The city looked so wonderful

And the girls were so divine

But the coppers got suspicious

And they soon gave me the knock

I was charged with being the owner

Of an old alarm clock

Oh next morning down by Barber street

I caused no little stir

The IRA were busy

And the telephones did burr

Said the judge "I'm going to charge you

With the possession of this machine

And I'm also going to charge you

With the wearing of the green"

Now says I to him "Your honor

If you'll give me half a chance

I'll show you how me small machine

Can make the peelers dance

It ticks away politely

Till you get an awful shock

And it ticks away the gelignite

In me old alarm clock"

Said the judge "Now listen here, my man

And I'll tell you of our plan

For you and all your countrymen

I do not give a damn

The only time you'll take is mine

Ten years in Dartmoor dock

And you can count it by the ticking

Of your old alarm clock

Now this lonely Dartmoor prison

Would put many in the jigs

The cell it isn't pretty

And it isn't very big

Sure I'd long ago have left the place

If I had only got

Ah, me couple of sticks of gelignite

And me old alarm clock