Seven Drunken Nights

As I went down on a Monday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw a horse outside the door,

Where my old horse should be.

And I called my wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns that horse outside the door

Where my old horse should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Tuesday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw a coat behind the door,

Where my old coat should be.

Well, I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns that coat behind the door

Where my old coat should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Wednesday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw a pipe upon the chair,

Where my old pipe should be.

Well, I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns that pipe up on the chair

Where my old pipe should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

And as I went home on Thursday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw two boots beneath the bed,

Where my old boots should be.

Well, I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns them boots beneath the bed

Where my old boots should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Friday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw a head upon the bed,

Where my old head should be.

And I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns that head upon the bed

Where my old head should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Saturday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw two hands upon her breasts,

Where my old hands should be.

Well, I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns them hands upon your breasts

Where my old hands should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.

As I went home on a Sunday night

As drunk as drunk could be,

I saw a thing inside her thing,

Where my old thing should be.

Well, I called me wife and I said to her:

"Will you kindly tell to me,

Who owns that thing inside your thing

Where my old thing should be?"

Ah, you're drunk.

You're drunk, you silly old fool.

Still you cannot see,

That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me

Well, there’s many a days

I've travelled a hundred miles or more,

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.