Hold My Beer

Spoken: “Ah, dearly beloved,

We’re gathered up in here today to join in holy monogomony

This here feller and this ol’ gal that he brought with him.”

The weddin’ chapel couldn’t get more packed

The love birds were dressed in white and black

The preacher turned to the groom and asked

him to skip the ring on her left hand

He turned to his best man and said

Hold my beer

This won’t take long

And I want it back

And I don’t want it gone

I trust ya, buddy, here

Hold my beer

Spoken: “I now pronounce you, ‘Ya’ll’.”

They cut the cake and they poured champagne

They macarana’d and formed a train

But it crashed right into the groom’s old flame

As she came crashin’ in

The new bride just kinda grinned and said

Hold my beer

This won’t take long

And I want it back

And I don’t want it gone

I trust ya, honey, here

Hold my beer

When the catfight broke up

The band broke into some Haggard and Hank and some Cash

When somebody’s cousin that nobody knew

Yelled, “What’s with this hillbilly crap?”

You could’ve heard a pin drop

And then

Hold my beer

This won’t take long

And I want it back

And I don’t want it gone

Somebody,

Hold my beer

This won’t take long

And I want it back

And I don’t want it gone

I trust ya, buddy, here

Hold my beer

Spoken: “Yeah, no, no just hold it.

No, I wasn’t givin’ it for you to drink.

No. It’s gone now.

Never ask the preacher to hold your beer.”